As sales reps, we hear it all the time – empathy is an important part of the sales process. If we can empathize with a customer, it helps us to understand their perspective and discover their needs. It helps us to overcome objections by partnering with them, instead of becoming their adversaries. But, what is empathy exactly? And how do we demonstrate it?

I have been on the receiving end of some good, and not so good, examples of empathy this last month. Finding myself in the position of facing a small health challenge that will require some surgery, I’ve seen the full spectrum of empathy demonstrations. Here’s a few things I have learned:

1. When someone is telling you about a surgery they may need to have, take your clue from them. You may think that the procedure sounds bloody awful, but remember, it’s their reaction that is most important, not yours. If they sound like they are not too nervous about it, then don’t share your opinion on how dreadful it sounds. It will just get them all worked up.

2. Ask about it. Don’t assume that the other person doesn’t want it brought up. Sheryl Sandberg shared in her book, Option B, that it drove her crazy when good friends who had seen her weeks before at her husband’s funeral, failed to ask how she was doing the next time they saw her. They probably thought they were being helpful, but it could easily come across as uncaring. If you want to really show empathy, ask – and let them navigate the conversation. And if they don’t want to talk about, they’ll let you know.

3. Small gestures mean a lot. Sometimes we think that to support someone, we need a grand gesture. Honestly, some of the sweetest things in life are made up of small gestures. The quick text to make me smile, the unexpected gift of flowers to brighten my day and finding a chore already completed before I even had to ask – thank you, I’ve got a very supportive husband. This is what real empathy looks like.

If we can learn to demonstrate empathy more effectively in our personal lives, I am convinced that we will also be able to demonstrate it more effectively in our professional lives. So, start today – think about the other person and how your reactions and behaviours may influence them.

Happy living (and selling!)

#empathy #OptionB #sherylsandberg